Scene - 1
Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.”
Tech Support: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”
Scene - 2
Customer: “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support: “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer: “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.”
Tech Support: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer: “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer “No…”
Scene - 3
Customer: “I’m thinking about writing a book on the problems I’m having with S3 Video cards and Warp and…” (blah, blah, blah, etc.)
Tech Support: “What exactly is your problem?”
Customer: “I’ve downloaded the video drivers for the PS/VP’s with the S3 chipset, and they won’t work on my machine.”
Tech Support: “Have you got a PS/VP sir?”
Customer: “Well…no.”
Customer: “I would like to place an order.”
Tech Support: “Unfortunately, we are unable to take orders over the phone. All orders must be placed on our web site.”
Customer: “Web site?”
Tech Support: “You need access to a computer that’s connected to the Internet in order to visit our Internet site and place an order.”
Customer: “Where is the computer?”
Tech Support: “…”
Scene - 4
Tech Support: “Ok, let’s put your operating system disk in the drive.”
Customer: “Ok…which way does it go in?”
Tech Support: “The shiny side faces down.”
Customer: “Alright…um…which way is down.”
Tech Support: (rolling eyes) “Towards the floor.”
Customer: “Ahhh…so what way does the other side face?”
Tech Support: “Are you kidding?”
Customer: (outraged) “Hey! I’m not a computer genius, ok? That’s why I called you!”
Tech Support: “Ok, that side faces down too.”
That kept her occupied for a couple of minutes, while I told my colleagues what was happening and we had a good laugh.
Scene - 5
Tech Support: “Ok, ma’am, I need you to do a ctrl-alt-del.”
Customer: “How do I do that?”
Tech Support: “Push and hold ‘ctrl’ and ‘alt’ at the same time, and then hit ‘delete’.”
Customer: “Where are those?”
Tech Support: (explains the location of the keys)
Customer: “Nothing happened.”
Tech Support: “Try again.”
Customer: “Still nothing.”
A minute or two later….
Customer: “Should I turn my computer on? Would that help?”
Tech Support: “Yeah, it might.”
Scene - 6
I went to the post office to ship a package of software to a customer. Since the software was expensive, I decided to insure it. As the postal employee was filling out the insurance form, he asked me what I was shipping.
Me: “Software.”
Him: “You mean, like, pajamas?”
Scene - 7
Tech Support: “Ok, I can help you install the software. Would you like me to do that?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Tech Support: “All right, can you insert the disk in the disk drive please?”
Customer: “How?”
Tech Support: “Place the disk in the opening at the front of the computer.”
Customer: “Will I have to have my computer delivered before we can do this?”
Tech Support: “Um yes, that might be an idea.”
Scene - 1
Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.”
Tech Support: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to instal
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